Nurturing relationship resilience - Support

In any thriving relationship, Support isn’t a luxury — it’s a vital ingredient. It’s what helps us feel seen, carried, and held in the everyday rhythm of life. It’s the difference between going it alone and knowing that someone is with you — beside you, behind you, and sometimes just holding the space you need.

Following on from the previous articles on Safety and Sense of Self, Support emerges as the third essential component. Once we feel psychologically safe, and confident in our own identity, we can open up to receiving and offering support in deeper, more authentic ways.

What Is Support, Really?

Support takes many forms. It could be practical, such as a lift to an appointment, or a colleague picking up a piece of work when you're stretched. Sometimes it’s emotional — words of reassurance when you’re feeling anxious, or your manager listening to your challenges without judgement. And other times it’s invisible but deeply felt — the trust that someone is in your corner, even when they’re not physically present.

Support includes:

• Emotional presence – Empathy, compassion, encouragement, being a sounding board
• Practical help – Offering time, energy, or action to lighten someone’s load
• Attentive listening – Holding space without judging, or jumping in to fix
• Reciprocal care – Understanding that support flows both ways, even if uneven at times
• Relational effort – Checking in, remembering what matters, being consistent

But above all, good support isn’t about offering what you would want — it’s about tuning in to what they actually need.

Why Support Matters in Relationships

Support builds trust and connection and strengthens our belief that we are not alone — that we are part of a community where giving and receiving help from one another is reciprocal.

Without support, relationships can feel unbalanced. We end up taking on too much in the belief that “nobody else can do this,” and find ourselves unable to ask for help, leading to resentment and emotional fatigue. But when support is mutual and intentional, something powerful happens: relationships become restorative, not draining.

When we ask for support, we give others the opportunity to provide help.

Research has shown that helping others and ‘paying it forward’ contributes to increased levels of personal satisfaction [1]. So by asking for help, instead of being a burden, we’re giving those around us the gift of giving, and making them happier!

A healthy support dynamic says:

• “You don’t have to carry this on your own.”
• “I want to understand what you’re feeling.”
• “Let me help — but let me ask how first.”

And receiving support doesn’t make us weak. In fact, it requires strength — the strength to be vulnerable, to own our needs, and to allow someone else to meet us there.

1. The World Happiness Report 2025

Support in Professional Relationships

At work, support may be reduced to advice and feedback on performance. Real support in professional settings is more human:

• A manager who makes time to listen, not just manage
• A colleague who steps up without waiting to be asked
• A team that celebrates each other’s individual strengths and contributions, not just outcomes
• Where asking for help is a norm, not perceived as a weakness

These dynamics create relationship resilience at work — a team’s ability to face challenge and change together, with adaptability and emotional intelligence. In high-performing teams, support isn’t an afterthought — it’s built into the way people communicate and co-operate.

The Link Between Support and Growth

Support doesn’t just help us cope in the challenging times. It helps us grow. When we feel supported, we feel encouraged, will try new things and stretch our potential — because we know we have a safety net. In coaching and leadership, this kind of scaffolding is critical. It’s not about taking over and fixing the situation for the other person, it’s about enabling them to develop for themselves.

And just like a building with good structure, relationships built on support are more resilient. They flex, bend, and recover — they don’t snap under pressure.

How are your relationships?

Consider these questions to reflect on the support levels in your most important relationships:

• Where in my life do I feel truly supported?
• What does “support” look like for me — and have I communicated that clearly  to others?
• How do I offer support — and am I making assumptions about what people need?
• Am I open to receiving support, or do I struggle to be vulnerable and ask for help?
• In my teams or relationships, are we clear about how we support each other?

Let’s start a conversation about the power of Support — and how it strengthens relationship resilience, emotional wellbeing, and performance at every level.